It’s my take. . .on hand dryers

Hand dryers in two words. Useless. Disgusting.

These wonderful contraptions that potentially could “save the environment” are actually not all that great. In fact I have found that they could potentially be the most useless contraption ever. Think about every time you have used one of these sophisticated dryers. Have you ever fully dried your hands? Do you stand there and smack your hands together to get the water droplets off? Or do you stand there and attempt to start a fire in your hands? We’ve all tried these methods, and none seem to truly work. So what do we do? We dry our hands off on our jeans/skirt/shirt/anything that will actually dry our hands.

Furthermore lets think about what a hand dryer is doing. It is blowing air onto your hands at a high rate of speed in an attempt to dry them. This air is not the purest air in the world. In fact it is the air from the bathroom you’ve just used and in this air is microscopic particles that have flown out of toilet bowls. Starting to cringe? I would, because our environmentally friendly, cost cutting contraptions have turned into a shit slinging device that would make a biologist cry.

Lets take a look at the average bathroom cycle:
1) Enter bathroom and pick out a stall
2) Relieve yourself
3) Walk away and allow the toilet to flush itself (spraying microscopic particles of goodness into the air)
4) Wash your hands (preferably with soap) in an attempt to cleanse them from the contact w/your jeans
This is where the hand dryer comes into effect
5) Push the button and allow not only the air to begin to rush but also allow the particles of bathroom goodies to get onto your hand
6) Now place your hands under the flow of air and pick your method of movement to get the water off.
You can now look down at your feet and see a puddle form from where the hand dryer has forced the air. I hope you’re not wearing flip flops.
7) Wipe the remaining water off onto your pants in an attempt to avoid a socially awkward situation. Pick up bacterias and goodies from the bathroom air while doing so.
8) Look down and realize you have water marks on your jeans. Provided a different awkward situation.
9) Re-enter the room from which you came.

It seems to me that if you just cut out the middle man you’d leave your bathroom experience a bit cleaner. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for cleanliness; I just don’t see how this particle pusher is going to aid us in this area.

But hey, that’s just my take.

~ by David on March 27, 2008.